Today’s gratitudes and blog: Working Through Anger and Resentment
- I am grateful for ladybugs.
- I am grateful to myself for being passionate about exercise.
- I am grateful for a freshly mowed yard.
I woke from 3:30am 5:30am and read. I woke again at 7:30am. I had a bm, did handstands, dry brushed and took a cold shower. I got myself and Angel dressed. I decided to have durian for breakfast, Angel was very happy about that. It was a great durian and I thoroughly enjoyed it. When I finished the durian I made a mango fresh squeezed tangelo smoothie. I still had 32oz of blended watermelon left over from yesterday and I also packed an avocado.
I rode my bicycle to the greenhouse. On the way I stopped at the post office and mailed some orders. Alice my new roommate met me at the greenhouse to meet my business partner to talk about getting hired to do some work. That went well and Andy hired her which is awesome, except because of it I will have to let go a high school kid we had hired to help me on Fridays.
Alice left and I talked to Andy for a while and made some phone calls to find ladybugs to buy nearby. I found some for a good price in Georgetown and would get them after I worked for George. I headed home and on the way I stopped and filled up both of my 3 gallon water jugs. I passed a place selling mulch for a good price so I bought 4 bags and added those to the water in my bike trailer. It was a great workout of the rest of the way home and I got a good sweat going, which I was thrilled with.
When I arrived home the guy who mows my yard was just finishing up. My yard looked so nice! He helped me unload my bicycle trailer. Then my business partner showed up with 2 extra large pallets for my pallet shed I want to build. Yay!! I loaded up the car and left with Angel to go take care of George. On the drive Angel drank a bunch of watermelon juice and took a nap. I listened to my audiobook and enjoyed the drive. I drank my watermelon juice and later my mango oj.
At George’s we took his truck to the repair shop to get the a/c worked on. When we got back I ate my avocado and nursed Angel. Then I helped his girlfriend Peggy with some paper work she needed to get printed out and scanned. I was irritated about the paper work. It was for a woman that worked for George while I was on maternity leave. I was surprised when Peggy brought her up and told me this was for this woman. My first feeling I was immediately disgust. I went through all my past judgements of her in my head. My not so enlightened thought was…this woman was still being selfish as always and bugging Peggy…who was exhausted and grieving the death of her mother who died last week…how unthoughtful to ask Peggy to write a reference for her that needed to be printed out, signed, scanned back in and sent to the woman’s e-mail. Peggy was overwhelmed with it all and this woman was not being very understanding and compassionate…at least in my mind. I did as I was asked to help Peggy out, because I was the nice one…right!? I was able to get the reference printed but it wouldn’t scan so she sent me home early to have me stop at a UPS store and have them scan it. I was happy to be off work early. I drove to Georgetown to the ladybug store and bought 6,000 ladybugs. That should do the trick! I am having an aphid and thrip problem and ladybugs should fix that right up. Next I went to the nearest UPS store and had the paperwork scanned for George’s girlfriend.
On the drive home I decided I needed to address this anger and resentment I felt toward this woman. I didn’t want to work through it…I wanted to feed it, but I knew that was not going to bring peace and contentment…it would bring just the opposite. So I started to work through it. I questioned my thoughts about her being selfish. Was what I was thinking absolutely the truth? Well…no. How do I feel when I believe the thought? Angry. How would I feel without the thought? Content. Then I turned it around. The woman wasn’t selfish. She was simply asking for a reference. She wasn’t selfish in the past either. I hadn’t made my needs clearly known to her and she had only been acting on the knowledge she had. Ahhh…the anger was gone and I was free once again. Woohoo!! I did it!!
Angel slept on the drive home. I stopped at a grocery store and bought some kale, local watermelon, cucumbers and tangelo’s. When i arrived home I quickly made some kale chips. Savana watched Angel while I went to a town meeting about a new police department. I wasn’t sure what to expect at the meeting but I figured there would be a lot of mad people yelling at each other. I was pleasantly surprised. There was some heated discussion but everyone calmed themselves down and were even willing to see each others point of view. I was very impressed by the people of this town.
I came home and Angel had fun with her sister while I was gone and ate 2 mangos. I wrote my blog. Angel was being very fussy because she was tired. I nursed her but she was still fussy. I was getting mad because I wanted to finish my blog. I finally got realistic and decided to finish writing my blog later. I picked Angel up and she was happy again. I then skyped with my friend Mañu. Angel had fun skyping with us. Mañu and I had a great conversation and it was so good to see and talk to him. It had been a while.
After we got off skype, Angel and I took a quick shower and she nursed to sleep.
Thank you for reading my blog